


Who Do You Want To Be?

by renneroo



Category: Welcome to Sanditon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:44:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renneroo/pseuds/renneroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one-shot filling in what happened after Leave A Message when Ed gets to Sanditon Scoops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Do You Want To Be?

**Author's Note:**

> With so little being revealed about what happened in the aftermath, with Ed going to get himself some ice cream, my brain created this. Sorry if it's bad. I just needed something to bide time until we get answers!

            Ed didn’t even take the time to stop by his apartment and drop off the box of belongings that had lived at the mayor’s office. Rather, his determined feet carried his far more uncertain mind to the door of Sanditon Scoops, with the feeling that ice cream would be good at the moment and seeing Clara would be even better. He paused when he reached the storefront, one hand almost reaching for the door. He could see Clara working behind the counter, biting her lip and trying to pack a triple scoop into one of her lavishly dipped and sprinkled waffle cones. However, as he stood, body petrified at the entrance, Ed was forced to follow through on the decision he’d already made about entering when a mother with her kids approached the ice cream shop, reaching him at the door. Before he really knew what he was doing, he was holding the door open and slipping in behind them, box still cradled underneath one arm.

 

            Clara didn’t notice when Ed Denham first walked into the shop. She was thoroughly occupied with serving the line that had accumulated behind the counter, a frequent occurrence during the summer months in Sanditon, California. It wasn’t long at all before the majority of her customers were happily licking cones and sucking on spoonfuls of ice cream. Setting her trusty ice cream scoop in the bucket of water by the register, she looked up and saw Ed standing across from her for the first time in weeks. After weeks of voicemails and messages, he was standing in front of her wordless. Clara didn’t have it in her to look him directly in the eyes, despite the sheer number of things she had sworn she would shove in his face the next time she saw him in person. The anger and the hurt gave way to a little bit of shame, thinking of every time he’d tried to reach out to her and she’d ignored him. She’d known that he had to deal with his own life first, but at the same time, it had hit her as soon as she saw him that this was Ed that she had ignored. In averting his face, her eyes fell on the box resting on her counter, and immediately, she knew.

 

            She’d seen Ed’s resignation letter on Domino, of course. She’d seen the mayor’s too, and truthfully, chewing out Tom Parker for the world to see was perhaps one of the most cathartic things she’d done in her entire life. Somehow, Clara hadn’t pictured it ending here, though, with Ed’s personal belongings in a box and him standing in front of her with everyone in the building coincidentally looking at them.

           

            “Hi, Clara.”

 

            Ed’s voice was quiet, almost wavering, and if it weren’t for the combination of the quietly entranced onlookers and her absolutely acute awareness of him, she might not have heard him at all.

 

            She looked up at him, with his tie loosened and puppy dog eyes out in full force.  And as angry as she’d been, at Tom, at his aunt, at him, Clara found herself physically biting back a smile at seeing him again. It didn’t work. She broke out into a grin that was in itself almost a laugh, a shout, an expression of how good it felt to see his person standing in front of her, no screen or app interface between them.

 

            “Hi, Ed.”

 

            As relieved as he felt at her greeting, with its implication of her acceptance and maybe some form of forgiveness, Ed realized that when he’d thought about this conversation, he hadn’t gotten past this. He’d thought of all the ways that she might scream or kick him out or maybe even throw another sugar cone, but he hadn’t thought of what he’d say if she smiled and said hello. His head went into overdrive, thinking of all the things that he wanted to say, and he hoped that maybe this time, just this once, he could say the right thing. The sudden silence of Sanditon scoops seemed like a roar in his ear, making him aware that they seemed to be the center of attention in the room.

            “Do you think we could maybe go somewhere and talk?” he asked.

 

            Clara’s initial instinct was to respond with a certain amount of indignation. Whatever he wanted to say, he could say without shame and without hiding, but glancing around the room at tables of people were quietly pretending they were looking at the floor, wall, ceiling, or anywhere but the counter stopped her. This wasn’t about hiding. This was about having an audience for a conversation that was about the two of them and no one else.

           

            “Yeah, why don’t you head upstairs- it’s unlocked, and I promise I’m right behind you.”

           

            Clara grabbed Shelby, a high schooler who picked up some hours at Sanditon Scoops during her summer break, and asked her to watch the counter for a few minutes. As a generous boss, Clara did a wonderful job of ignoring the suggestive look the teenager gave her at seeing Edward Denham walking up the staircase.

 

            As he trudged up the steps in the corner behind the counter, still carrying the box in his hands, Ed considered that he’d never actually seen Clara’s apartment, only what had been in the background over Domino. Shifting the box under one arm to open the door, he found a warm and welcoming sort of living room as he walked in, though it was unquestionably on the messy side. He set his box of things from the office on a side table and found himself loosening his tie a little more and shoving his hands awkwardly in his pockets, leaving nothing to do but look around the room, wait for Clara, and try to conjure up the perfect words to say.

           

            He heard the _clomp clomp_ of Clara’s feet coming up the stairs, and when the door hinges squeaked, he turned towards her and took a deep breath.

 

            The same sort of now-or-never, daredevil, save the world, sort of determination that had prompted the letter of resignation seemed to course through him as he watched Clara. He saw her, the delicate way she closed her apartment door and looked at him expectantly. He thought to himself that this, right here, had to be one of those life-changing moments where the hero of the story decides exactly who he is and what part he will play. The confidence finally let him speak.

 

            “Clara, there’s so much I want to say, but let me start with this. Thank you.”

 

            “Ed, I th—“

 

            “No, just let me get all of this out. Please. I need to say all of this. And I need to thank you. You’re the one who gave me a push in the right direction, and if you hadn’t, I probably would’ve stayed working for Tom Parker forever and I wouldn’t know how to be happy because I’d be spending too much time trying to please my aunt. I’d still be working in a job I hated with the same feeling of dread every single morning and half an hour trying to talk myself into getting out of bed in the morning. I convinced myself that that’s what being an adult was. That it was all made up of a job you hate and doing things you don’t like and having to force yourself to get up everyday. But then I got to see you in the ice cream shop everyday, and I figured out that you were fighting so hard for Sanditon Scoops because you love ice cream and inventing flavors and making people happy when they come into your shop. I don’t think I really knew things could be like that until I got to know you. I owe it, this whole chance to finally live my own life and be happy, to you.”

 

            It was there that Clara cut him off.

 

            “You don’t owe me a thing, Ed,” Clara acknowledged the desperate look on his face, “but please, continue…”

 

            He chuckled at her comment, though she couldn’t figure for the life of her why. Without explanation, he continued with his improvised speech.

 

            “The thing is, Clara, that nothing really mattered to me until you. I know that it wasn’t the first time Tom crossed a line and overstepped boundaries, and I doubt that it’ll be the last. But hearing what you said made me realize that it’s my life to make my own choices. I’m sorry that I was too much of a coward to do anything about it before now. I’m sorry for disappointing you and for being stupid, but I think you should know that above my aunt, Tom, Griff, or anyone else, my choice was and is you.” 

 

            Clara stepped closer to Ed. There had been a few feet of space between, but as Ed’s speech progressed, they found themselves within an arms length of each other, and Clara leaned in, hanging on every single word. Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth again as she surveyed Ed. This was it. This was him, Ed being the kind of man she had known he was fully capable of being, free of the influence of his aunt or Tom Parker. This now brave, brave man was choosing her. Ed tried to read her as she got closer to him, but he couldn’t, and that made him even more nervous. The nerves only served as fuel to get the rest of his thoughts out as heavy, real, tangible words in the room.

 

            “And I know that you have every right and reason to tell me to get lost right now. If you do, I understand completely. But I thought you should know. I’ve made a lot of choices today, and tomorrow, I might regret some of them. I don’t have a job, and I’m sure I’ll hate myself for that in the morning. But this is one I won’t regret, because you mean a lot to me, and since that’s the one thing I do know right now, I figured you deserved to hear all of this- even though I don’t know what’s next.”

 

            As soon as Ed had taken a breath of recovery, Clara piped up in a quietly resolute voice.

 

            “I do.”

 

            Ed cocked his head to the side, wondering how on earth she knew what the rest of his life was going to look like and what was going to happen and maybe if she had some sort of ability to see the future or was visited by a future version of himself and was cut off as he stumbled towards Clara, his tie apparently now fisted in her hand. With another short tug, she had propelled him towards her, catching him by the lips with her own. Clara knew it might not have been the most prudent manner of action with so much unsaid and unknown hanging in the balance, but she had given him some time and he’d obviously figured a lot out and _screw it, she wanted to._

 

            It hadn’t been what he was expecting, but eventually he figured out what to do with his hands, and as his hands came to rest on her waist and the crook of her neck for balance and his eyes slid shut, Ed’s astonishment was surpassed only by his elation and the feeling of slender fingers woven in his recently trimmed hair and smooth strawberry lips smiling against his own. His hand moved from the base of Clara’s neck to the back of her head, pulling her closer, eliminating all space and breath and hesitance that had remained.

           

            With only the most ragged of breaths left in him, Ed was the one to pull back, but even when the kiss, ended, they weren’t quite separated. Ed’s hand remained at her waist, and she traced the edge of his collar. Looking at Clara, his thumb tracing along where a pink blush had blossomed on her cheek, he thought she had to be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

 

            Clara looked up at him, eyes shining with a smile. “I hear you’ve had a pretty rough day, what with quitting your job and getting into it with your ex-boss. I happen to know from personal experience that ice cream helps make bad days better.”

 

            “Well, I think my day has improved exponentially in the last five minutes, but ice cream sounds good too.” Ed was brave enough to swoop forward and kiss her lightly, just a peck on the lips that ended swiftly with a smile gracing his face. Clara’s hands traced down his arms and smoothed Ed’s now wrinkly, rolled up sleeves. She'd never say it out loud, but the way that he wore his clothes, always crisp and professional with the exception of his perpetually rolled-up sleeves, was one of the first things she'd been willing to admit as one of Edward Denham's attractive features. He had her hook, line, and sinker with his forearms.  Her hands met his, and she entwined their fingers, walking backwards and pulling him towards the door leading downstairs.

 

* * *

 

            Later, they sat at the table nearest the counter, and while most of the Sanditon Scoops customers had cleared out, the few that remained appeared to have moved on from the drama of earlier that day, leaving Clara and Ed to their own devices as they laughed and talked about the whole world and nothing at all over a shared triple scoop cup of mint chocolate chip. There was still fall-out to deal with. Ed’s phone remained off. He found later that his aunt had consistently tried to reach him for seven hours before giving up.

 

            Clara had mused that she had no idea how exactly to tell Gigi without making too big of a deal about it all. ( _Really, she knew that Gigi would make a big deal of it no matter how she said it. But then, Clara figured looking at Ed and thinking about that afternoon and how she could perhaps even hazily see the rest of her life in front of her, it was a big deal. Somehow, even with a crazy mayor, and experimental technology, they’d managed to find themselves a little bit. She thought maybe it would help Gigi do a little bit of self-discovering too. Maybe she’d admit that those grad school applications would never really get finished._ )

 

            For the time being, though, thoughts of unemployment and difficult conversations were put by the wayside in favor of good company and ice cream to be finished. The rest could come later. This was just like it was when they started, just the two of them being exactly who and where they wanted to be.

           

           

            


End file.
